I feel lately that I have very few avenues to say what I feel about my love life (or the mess of a love life that it is at the moment). Partly because sometimes I feel that maybe I shouldn't feel what I feel or that I shouldn't say what I feel because saying it out loud somehow will make it harder to get over (should getting over be required later on).
But today, I just dropped off my son in school, his first day in 1st grade and so I am feeling emotionally raw. Add to that 4.5 hours of sleep only and a whole lot of anxiety soo...here is my venting to the cyber universe.
I still love the husband. It's very hard to keep calm as I say/write this because I feel "all over the place" when I think of this realization.
I pray hard every night for some kind of resolution.
I do not know how He will restore my marriage given the history and the situation right now. We are on good terms, much better than we have been on more levels than just being a married couple, than we have in a long time. But there are other realities like the long separation, the court case, the continued building of routines in separation that make restoration seem like an impossibility.
I have faith that He will take care of me.
"For nothing is impossible with God" Luke 1:37
It feels good to vent.
xoxo,
Vicki
